Warning, this post expresses strong opinions.
I joined this group on Facebook called Anencephaly Angels and I just can't believe some of the things I have read. This site is not a pro-life site like the Anencephaly Blessing From Above online support group, that I have talked about in the past on the blog. I am sitting here reading posts from mothers who chose to induce labor after finding out their baby had anencephaly...sometimes as soon as the following week and even the next day. These women have talked about how their babies were born "asleep" at 16, 17, or 18 weeks. They aren't asleep, they have died! They died because their mothers never gave them a chance to live. The term these women have used is "pregnancy interrruption". Pregnancy interruption = abortion. Elspeth will die on her own terms and her terms alone.
Ok, I know that this post is terribly prejudiced. Looking back at myself when I found out about Elspeth's diagnosis at only 14 weeks I was devistated. However, I cannot in anyway imagine choosing to end her life at that time. I would have missed out on so many wonderful experiences that we have had together in the last 15 weeks, and there are so many more wonderful moments that are yet to come. I would have never felt her kicks, hiccups and wiggles. Ryan wouldn't have experienced any of that either.
I guess these women will never know what they missed out on. Every day carrying Elsepth is very difficult emotionally but it is worth it. Many years from know, I will be able to look back and I will know that I did everything I could for my daughter. I gave her everything in my capability and I won't have any regrets. This is the best peace of mind any mother could ask for, no regrets.
I hope this post doesn't sound angry, because I am not angry. I am grateful even more tonight for the choices that I have made. There is going to be a long road ahead of me for the next two months. I just want to thank you for your prayers, support, phone calls, letters and love. So many of you have expressed concern about saying something "wrong". I want to assure you that you have not. Saying nothing at all is more painful than saying anything. Thank you to all of my readers. There have been people who I have never expected that have been reading and some people who I have never met at all. You have all touched my heart so deeply, thank you.
Remember grief is not something that you get over...
It's something that you walk through.
My shoes are worn and my feet hurt from this walk.
-Author Unknown
I like your quote there at the end.
ReplyDeleteHey, got your package in the mail. The book list is fascinating. We actually have Nana Upstairs, Nana Downstairs but it'll be good to try some other books.
I loved this post.
ReplyDeleteI was actually talking to a friend who lost her fiance a couple months ago about you and was shocked to find myself defending your choice and explaining a lot of what you said here about what a blessing it has been for you to get to know your daughter and spend this time with her now, with eager anticipation to the day when she will be back in your arms again and no one or nothing can take her from you.
Its hard to believe but Meredith you, Ryan and Elspeth are going to touch more lives with your one courageous choice than you can even imagine. You have surely touched ours.
We Love You All!
We just found out about your situation, and we are very sad. We love you guys and want the best for both of you. We had our baby on Dec 9th last year and when we started reading your blog it made us think a lot. It's a really touching story. You are in our prayers. We have the true gospel and that helps us to undestand and give us hope. Keep being strong.
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